You know how parents protect their children a little too much? How they enfold their children from a frightening sight?
Halloween is supposed to be a little bit scary—a little bit unsettling. I understand if your child is very young—around the age of 5—but even then they should be allowed to experience a little bit of the macabre, in my opinion. I will modify my actions for a young child, but not for a frowning father or mother who cares nonetheless.
With that, I thought I would share with you my thoughts on my Halloween dressed in full drag as a witch-priest raised from the dead as a vampire passing out candy to trick-or-treaters. Ultimately I decided that she might be some sort of vampire Carrie, but they didn’t know that. Nor did I until I looked in the mirror.
What a horror they must have beheld:
Can you imagine this camp queen spooning processed candy into the already-full baskets of your young ones?
The satisfying thing was that I gave candy away to a tiny little girl dressed in full Superman costume. I have to give kudos to her parents for that.
But on this solemn date, I must implore you to treat your animals with care:
There are still superstitious assholes out there who hurt cats for no logical reason.
Halloween is a night when the fairies run afoul of men, but it is also a night when parents let their children enjoy being scared shitless. It used to be a time when parents themselves were scared shitless. Why can’t we return to this, whether parents or their sweet, trick-or-treat child-things?