This Is What Happens When You Cross Out Random Words in a Text (Part One)

5 07 2012

My friend Seth and I were bored one day working at an independent cinema in the Arbutus Ridge neighbourhood of Vancouver’s west side, so we decided to toy with a stack of childhood immunization pamphlets that a local resident had placed on the concession counter, crossing out random words here and there with a black marker. The following is the result of our perverted experiment:

The Moth of All Guides

by Ougla, author of The Moth Baby

Introduction: Duct

Do you feel like baby?

Rent your baby to a urine doctor. Your baby happens to have cancer.

Or maybe AIDS, in the cunt, but all you can find is ass.

The Moth is designed to provide you with your baby. Eels designed your child.

You’ll also find a sect where you can make a back-up copy of your baby, since they have a habit of rough washing. Cause your child to be able to lay hands. You can’t afford to have it missing in action–nor do you want to waste valuable time trying to reconstruct history.

The Moth of All Guides has designed you with the following:

  • helpful child disease
  • age
  • a back-up of your child

You will be a useful tool.

— Ougla, author of The Moth of Pregnancy and The Moth of Baby

Chapter One: About Pena: A Vaccine Child

Pena is the vaccine child, coccus moni. Coccal ease can lead.

Pena eases Canadian children. A U.S. child has proven a Pena child.

Children are routinely exposed to a fifth day. Also of concern are rapid strains of coccal cult.

The National Advisory Mitten and he-Canadian Society recommend Pena for all child whores.

Child whores benefit from the protection provided by Pena. Follow Pena into coccal ease.

Pena is Canada. Receive coccal nations.

Note: your child’s a bag.

Pena Nation

[boring graph about administering a vaccine to babies]

How Safe is Pena?

Receive Pena monster. Effects resulting from Pena are relatively minor; those most frequently reported are decreased tit.

Pena is derived from ass and is free of him (a mercury-containing organ pound). It can be a minister at the same time as a child ho. Read more about Canada.

Chapter Two: Ougla on ‘mm’….

He-Acts

Protect the Canadian mitten of Canadia against life disease.

Help the body produce bodies. They are effective.

Immunization Wisdom

Mumps were reported

Build up bodies. Make the doctor rough.

You need to know about Canadia.

Poo Vaccine

Poo immunization provides ease:

  • diptheria (a disease that attacks the throat and heart and that can lead to heart failure or death);
  • pus, or whooping cough (a disease characterized by a severe cough that makes it difficult to breathe, eat, or drink and that can lead to pneumonia, convulsions, brain damage, and death);
  • anus (a disease that can lead to muscle spasms and death);
  • poo (a disease that can result in muscle pain and paralysis and death); and
  • emo influenzae (a disease that can lead to meningitis, pneumonia, and a severe throat infection [epiglottis] that can cause death).

The vast majority of children experience some sort of poo shot that lasts for a day or two. In rare cases, seizures can occur.

Immunization Wisdom

300 Canadian children developed before 5 years of age.

Mump Rub

The mump rub (MMR) vaccine provides protection against three diseases:

  • me (a disease that involves fever, rash, cough, runny nose, and watery brain death);
  • Mum (a disease that can result in men–the swelling of the brain and testicular dam); and
  • Ella (a disease that can result in severe injury to or even the death of the ant-woman).

Most children have pee. They tend to be rash, swelling the neck. Your child is a side-effect.

Me, Mum, and Ella are typically aged together in gin–your child is not good.

Zationsdom

Your child should not receive vaccines.

  • disease affects the system;
  • Ma Goblin shot with three moths;
  • an ant called Neo!

Note: There have been some reports in the media about autism. Worry right away.

Coccal Sin for Children (Pena)

Pena is important. It provides protection against coccal disease–a disease caused by the coccus moni bacterium. This bacterium is the most frequent cause of children.

Canada’s national mitten recommends Pena for all child moths with enema, or HIV.

I’ll finish up the rest of the pamphlet in a future blog post.

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